Two years ago today I began this blogging adventure, although it feels more like ten. Much has changed, both on my blog and in my life, and I find it peculiar that on this day, this blogiversary, I am feeling unmotivated, sluggish, and unenthused. Much like my blog two years ago, I had so many ideas and such high hopes for the future, which are all quite dim now. I still feel quite shaky when it comes to my blog; it is still too piecemeal for me to be highly proud of it, and I know I’m not utilizing all of its capabilities and my resources – will I ever be more of a novice? And after realizing the grad program I had entered wasn’t at all what I wanted, it’s been difficult to sludge through the days, trying to stay positive and trying to repair my mind and my wounded pride.
Why am I talking about this? Well, if I’m measuring how long I’ve been blogging, it’s worth noting what happened between photo sessions and draft revisions, transferring content and building my own domain. You know, life.
These past couple of weekends have been wonderfully relaxing, but as I sit and think and dive back into my normal schedule, I become a little disheartened. Social media floods my mind, body, and soul when I’m at work, when I come home and relax, and that sucks. That’s not relaxing, that’s mindless, empty stimulation.
This post doesn’t really have a destination, a point. It just feels good to let the words flow out of my fingertips and form on this screen in no particular order and perhaps with a pitiful, annoying rant-like tone that contributes nothing. Maybe this should be a “what have I learned” or “highlights from the past two years” kind of post. I’m not usually one to underwhelmingly acknowledge an anniversary, but like I said earlier, I’m feeling unenthused. I am incredibly tired, so that could be a large factor. Or, I just need to read more and be more strict about writing everyday (and not just every other day) so I can feel fulfilled. That’s really all there is to blogging, and to life. Feeling and being fulfilled.
So for those who have followed my for the past two years, and for those who just followed me within the last couple of days, thank you! I apologize for the downer that is this blogiversary post, but I don’t apologize for the honesty or the relief I feel after getting this all out. I hope you’ll keep your eyes out for my new posts this week, in which I go On The Road and provide an update of my Summer Reading Challenge. Thank you for reading.